Just one year ago, I put on my first wig. As I have written, my hair was falling out. There seemed to be no medical reason. To say that is has been gut wrenching, is an understatement. I wake up (almost) every day with a happy and healthy heart. Really! Yet, I eventually have to look in the mirror... This is what I see:
I hate it. It makes cry. It is incredibly humbling.
Yet, I have never been so grateful for an accessory.
The wig is hot and scratchy. It tends to move when I sing. Not, the best while singing, "The Hallelujah Chorus"! Yes! Last, Christmas! It scooched backwards, while i was singing it! Oh boy! But, I have learned a great deal. Not, just on on how to fix it. Care for it. OR!, Keep it on...! (The low lying limbs on my front tree snatched it RIGHT OFF as I got the mail the other day!!!! Luckily, it was only Mark and Zach there to witness.....H.U.M.B.L.I.N.G.....but, funny. Zach could not stop laughing. That precious boy...) Yes, I have the ability to laugh at myself...most of the time.
It is a constant reminder that the external is not what should define me. It is my heart. My inmost being. My spirit and soul. And, trust me. I work harder on my heart, than the now 30 MINUTES (from shower to makeup) it takes to get ready! Ha! While, I love the ease, I still wish that I had my own full head of hair.
I know that my personality makes me exceptionally approachable... BUT, watch yourself. Pretty please. As my friend, Carol, says in her blog, Mind Your Manners! http://blessedinbixby.blogspot.com/2011/12/day-6-mind-your-manners-its-christmas.html
Some people have said and done some hurtful things. Bringing me products: "Now, just sprinkle this on your head and stand in the sun...". Emailing me links to scalp makeup...And, just last week a older man said, "Now, I don't want to mess up your rats nest"....You get the picture. I honestly, do NOT believe they intended to hurt my feelies...But, it is after all, a tender subject.
How I came to get my wig last year, was...well, another "tender" subject. But, this year I was completely surprised by my friends Sean and Carol. They said that wanted to bless me with a new one. So, Carol, Jerri and I headed out wig shopping last week. And, boy did we have fun!
When we got into the store we had already had lunch, and were all giggly. Our salesperson, was NOT so enthused. In fact, at one point, I thought to myself, "I am not letting Carol spend her money here!". I politely asked, if my friends could try on wigs to support me. With bristly hesitance, she agreed. It wasn't until I asked her if there were many women like me...Young. Without Cancer. Or, Alopecia. She said, "Yes! Many"! She asked if I had been given any medical reasons for my continued loss. I began to share my story. She softened. We hugged. By the end of our stay she was smiling, taking our pictures, and even initiated the final hugs!
Thank-you, Sean and Carol for this precious and generous gift! Thank-you, Carol and Jerri, for a fun-filled day of laughter, friendship and wigs! Smooches!
I called the woman from the store today. To thank her. To encourage her. (Our Pastor told us to look for ways to encourage others in his message Sunday night..I always do!) I invited her to hear me sing about The Hope that I have, this Sunday morning. She was teary. And, hopes to come.
Last night, after choir practice, I went through Sonic. I go there almost every day. The two young men that work evenings are always polite and get my "Type-A" drinks right. (Yes, probably another blog subject...) I practiced encouragement and gave them a sweet "thank-you" for their service, smiles, and always getting my order right.... In turn, the young man at window said, "Wow. Thank you! No one ever does that. And, might I add? You have beautiful hair,"...... LOL! How cool is that!?! Yep! I smiled big! And, "said, "Why, thank you.". And, I did not even tell him that it was a wig! Baby steps... ;-)
I am beautiful. Flaws, and wigs, and all. God sees my heart. He says I am beautiful, too. The Silver Fox loves me just the way I am..... I feel pretty...
You know I love me some musical theater! Enjoy!
http://youtu.be/Ye7PIyIcCro
Because He who Beholds me...Loves me. I can. And, I will. And, I do. (Liking is a whole other thang! Just kidding...Well, kind of.... :-)
Go read "Divine Introspection". It's one of my favs. "Toxic" explains the hair loss, a little. Keep your eyes open! Three blogs coming in the next two weeks! On holiness, laminators and budgets! So exciting!
God sees and knows your heart. Your intentions. Motives. Aspirations. Desires. Agendas. Failures. And, Strengths. He loves you. He sees the beauty in us all! He is pursuant of you even right now....Believe. Trust.
Blessings, Peace, Health and Love!
Merry CHRISTmastime!
Kari
