10 Days of Thanks...Day 4: Lexi

        On August 12, 2001, Alexandria Grace Romoser joined our family! We had been on Lake Eufala that weekend with our dear friends, Kermit and Taprina Milburn, and Charlie and Kathy Laster. I was ready to get that baby out. So, I asked Charlie to hit the waves hard! It worked! I was in labor that night! (Thanks, Charlie!) Finally, a girl!!!
        Her entrance was fast and furious! Scary! I had explained to the nurses, that each boy came faster than the first. And, that in all three deliveries, I went from a four to a ten, very quickly.....They did not listen. My doctor was at church. While, I could appreciate that, he needed to be with me. The nurse checked me. I was a four. Before she rounded the corner, I screamed, "She's coming"! Seeing my face she yelled, "Don't push"! And, then quickly injected me with Demerol. (Buying time to get the doctor there?) It was too late! I pushed. She came out immediately. Even though the nurse asked Mark not to film (lawsuit?), he disobeyed. The whole thing...caught on film! It all happened in a flash! It was me, mom, Mark, one nurse and a few close friends.  I was not "prepped" (no stirrups!).  And no one delivered! She was bruised up from such an explosive entry. Black and blue, stunned and not breathing! But, lest you forget the shot that I was given earlier...Yes, I slept through the first few hours of her life! No worries! Although, we were a little scared. She was fine. This story is quite indicative of how she is today! Alive and ready for anything!
      Just like any mother, I loved dressing my little girl. She was always so cute. And, the perfect baby. Just a few weeks before her birth, I had the opportunity to sing in our OBU "adopted daughter's", wedding. We loved, our sweet, Sarah James McGuire! She chose  many wonderful songs. But, "Jesus, Lover of My Soul", resonated with me. (Interesting, how those words have sustained me these past two years. "It's not about me..."., my mantra!) I would sing that and "Jesus, Lord to me" over her.....We were blessed. Big blue eyes, and soon we saw that beautiful red hair. Lexi  loved to play outside. And, boy did she love her brothers! She really had her daddy's heart! Right away. She adored her best buddies, Noah Belt and Sierra Landreth. The first two years of her life were grand! I was enthralled with her. But, as I  have shared earlier, things changed.  She was just a little thing, when we moved to Tulsa.

       Even in the worst of times, Lexi was a happy child. We had a Sheltie named, Lacy, that brought her  alot of comfort and joy. I can see now, that this dog was her angel. They would play in the backyard for hours. Laughing, running, or just laying on the trampoline. In this time, I did not attend church regularly, if at all. But, Mark kept the kids going. Lexi loved everything about church. She still does. She would cry to miss. She still does. Lexi attended ELP at STBC and went on to Jenks Southeast. She could not wait to go to school... When I tried to end my life, she was six. As was Luke, she had just gotten off of the bus, only to see her mommy loaded onto the ambulance. How frightening for a little girl! As did all of the kids, she loved me. But, at some point a "disconnect" had been made........... While they were sad to see me leave, they knew that they would be well cared for. They always were......... I know there was sadness, yet they felt an unexplainable "sigh of relief".
         I was in St. Francis for five days. Laureate for three. From there, I went straight to my parents house, as they all searched for somewhere to send me. I was away from my children, in full, for over four months.  It was a collective, "yes", to send me to Brookhaven Retreat for Women in Sevierville, Tennessee.  Lexi loved to get her night time calls from me, while I was there. It helped her. She cried alot. But, she needed an assurance that I was still out there...........She really could not conceive of why I was gone.......Just two days ago, she overheard me talking to a friend that was going through some depression. When, we were alone, she asked me if I have ever been depressed.....Wow...(Thank you, Lord for protecting and covering her sweet little mind.)...........
       Today, Lexi is a gregarious, bundle of fun! (Hmmm, where must she get that from?) She was 7 when she asked Jesus in her heart. And she, Luke and I were baptized together. Lexi loves our church. She calls it, "home away from home"...well, it is! She is in Bible Drill, choir, handbells and GA's. She LOVES soccer and adores  her coach, Roy Osberhaus. She enjoys swimming, basketball and music. She is playing my "daughter" in our church's Dinner Theater. So cool! In fact, she really loves acting. She told us two weeks ago that she either wants to be an actress or veterinarian! What choices!
       Lexi loves, loves, loves her friends. She has many special ones, but she is crazy for Annaliese Sommer and Sydnet Helt! Lexi is a typical girl. Happy-go-lucky and dramatic!  She is going through an awkward phase. A little husky. She experienced some hurtful things these past two years at school. Kids can be cruel. She would tell us things that were said or done to her, but then very quickly forgive and forget! (Okay, I was sitting here proofing this, with Lexi reading. Her exact quote: "Well, I'm not so sure about the forgive part, but I have forgotten"...Oh, boy! We will be talking about that today!)  But, let me tell you! She loves herself! Seriously, she is tough. She knows her heart and she knows that she is loved. One of the things, that really blows me away about her, is that she is a prayer warrior! I mean it! She prays on a dime. She prays for anyone and anything! If you ask, she will pray. She has a very tender heart. She asked me the other day, "Am I sensitive"? I asked her why was she asking. She said, "Because, when I hear people hurting, I want to cry."  How precious. I wish we were all that way. Comforters to the hurting. Sensitive to their pain.
       We decided to bring Lexi home for school this year. There are many reasons that we chose to do this. First, we should have held her back in Kindergarten. While, she has just turned nine, most of her peers have already turned ten. A little immature at times. Her teacher last year commented, that while Lexi did need extra help to turn the "light bulb on", when it "turned on", it was the brightest one out there. We also hope to get her more healthy. And, determine if she has any issues that are preventing her from slimming down. She is very active and likes healthy foods, But, for the bulk of her life she was not served healthy meals.We are working on this! I cannot express it enough, how much she loves herself. It tickles us at her oblivion. I wish that I were more like that!  My sweet, Carol, has been a huge witness/influence to her. She, too, shared similar struggles, and look at her now...She's a self-proclaimed "hottie"!  We recently discussed "heroes". My mom and dad, Mark, Carol and I were her list! Sweet!  We are having a wonderful time homeschooling  together. Moving at our own pace. The best part is....our hearts have been knitted together, closer than ever. She adores me. Well,.......... most of the time! Give her a "shout out!". She will love it! And, say a prayer for her just now!
        Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you so much for my beautiful daughter. Thank you for guarding her heart and mind. For healing her hurts.  For her generous spirit. Bless her and protect her, Amen
       For those that are following, I want to reiterate, I really do not plan to write on her every day. Once or twice a month...But, I wanted to share with everyone, what I had already planned to share on Facebook. These "notes" are a legacy. A part of OUR story. Our history. A gift to my friends and family. A small way to give back to those that have helped me stay clean and sober, grounded and faithful. Those that have prayed for me. Those that have helped relight the fire of my soul. These "thank you notes",  help me tell the story of the redemption of my life. What could have ended terribly, has just begun victoriously!
        I started these "thank you's' to my children.  They are the exception to the rule. They could be awful individuals, in desperate need of their own therapy. But, they are kind, generous and compassionate people.  I sat in my car one night recently, with a sweet friend of mine, Sarah Stephens. We had just returned from a concert and yogurt "date". I had not told many people about, Rochelle. After, I finished  telling her the story, we sat quietly for a second, and she said, "It is incredible that you have such amazing kids. They are all awsesome.".  She's right, .....they are! (Btw! She is too!)
         Will you "Follow" my blog? Join, "This Perfect Mess" on Facebook? Share these with your friends? You never know who it might help!
          Be blessed! Hug your kiddos real tight! Praypraypray!

Added, August 12, 2011:
         Lexi had a great year at home with me. We accomplished so much! Most importantly....our hearts were "knitted" closer together. We got behind in math. But, will catch up soon! Starting "Epic One", an online Charter School, next month. She is very active, yet still struggles with her weight. Just a few weeks ago she told me how she feels like people do not "see" her. That they don't look at her in her eyes. She is already noticing that there is preferential treatment to the "pretty" girls. I tell her that she is beautiful...... It is heart breaking. But, one of her greatest joys, is Cosette, aka, "Cozy".  A sweet little black Pug! We got her just a few weeks after this blog was posted! The "outcry" was strong...Carol....    They are precious together!                                 Will you please pray for her? Pray for me to be strong?.....

"God is so good. He's so good to us....',
Kari