Wednesday, November 17, 2010

10 Days of Thanks...Day 3: Luke

      I absolutely loved being pregnant the third time! Luke Greyson Romoser joined our family on April 19, 1999.  Again, many friends joined in on our special day. There were no complications. Thank goodness! But, Luke was born into a month of great uncertainty for our family. The bank that Mark had worked at for many years, had sold. He was offered to stay with the new bank, but in marketing.  If you know him, then you would know that marketing was not a "fit". Mark began looking for another job. He received several job offers, almost immediately. In the midst of this, I was suffering from postpartum-depression. I was put on several medications. Most notably, Xanax. When Luke was 3 months old, Mark moved to Claremore, Oklahoma. He began his new job at RCB Bank. I was left in Shawnee with Jake (5), Zach (3) and Luke, to help get our home ready to sell.  We were also waiting for our new home to be finished being built in Owasso. But, a "perect storm"  was beginning  to brew....
      Luke was delightful. He rarely cried. He smiled as I would sing to him. In fact, that's what I remember most about his baby/toddler  years. His smile and his giggles. He loved to laugh and be silly.  He had strawberry blonde hair. Very, very cute! In October of that year, we moved into our new home. It was near Claremore. And, close to my parents, in Tulsa. And, I finally got to live near my dearest friend, Cindy Young.  I must stop here and say, that I am giving more "background" to Luke's "thank you", for a reason. His birth came at the cusp of what was the beginnings of my journey downward. As much as I desire to tell my truth, it hurts to be this blunt. But, I was "stoned" for the first year of his life. I took Xanax like they were "Smarties". (it was more like, "Dummies"!)  Because I was am a "high funtioning" addict, many did not know what to make of my strange behavior. It was easy to dismiss it as, "well, she's just stressed", "tired",  or "overwhelmed"... No one knew that I had secretly began to drink and abuse narcotics. Once again, Jake rescued a lot of moments.....I have a painful memory of Luke that is hard to share. Simply put, if  he needed me, he knew to crawl to my room to get me. I can still remember that....I can see it plainly...Can you see it?..............He was only one.
       I went to Laureate Psychiatric Hospital in the Summer of 2000. I received great care and therapy. I was detoxed off of all of the medications that I was taking. We moved to McAlester that Summer, as Mark was offered a "better" job there. I cannot explain this, but I did not drink or abuse pills  in the three years we were there.  It seemed like the previous year was just a "fluke". A bad dream. We quickly got settled. I loved our home. We were happy and content. Luke was my buddy. He and I would go outside every single day. It was a happy time. I joke that at 18 months he jumped out of his crib and into our bed. He was a busy and funny little boy. He would run around the house shouting, "I neked! I neked!", because, well...he was! (We did eventually teach him that clothing must stay on!) And, when we would travel to Tulsa, to see my parents, he loved to say, "Are we in Okiemokie"?  He loved going to church. And, he loved his best friend, Seth Berry. He was adorable with his baby sister (more about her tomorrow). Our times in McAlester were sweet! But, in our last year there, I got very sick. I had a miscarriage. And, Mark lost his job. It was a wretched time. And, it was fixing to get worse...
         Mark got another job immediately. We moved to Tulsa, where we lived with my parents for six months. We purchased a home one mile from them. (Thank goodness!)......I have written in my earlier "notes", that I chose to hang on to bitterness. Bitter over how we had been treated after Mark was fired... It stole my joy, my health, and almost, my life. But, all the while, my little "Lukey", just adored me. I mean it. He has always been very attached to me. A "momma's boy", by his own, proud, admission! He and Lexi slept with me for four years. (They knew where to find me!) He loved for me to scratch his back and rub his head. He still does! He was getting off of his school bus, as I was being loaded into the ambulance. He was frightened and crying.  Hurt and confused, as I went away. Luke was only eight years old. Thank goodness that children are so resilient! You see, he knew that I was a good mommy. He remembered it. He was too young to completely understand what was happening. But, big enough to forgive.
        It was not until this past year, that Luke would really go to a friend's house for a sleepover. (Except with Bentley Boncaldo! Because Tiffany treats him like her own!). The first year that I was home, I believe that deep down he feared that I would leave again. So, he was unusally attached to me. Luke is a precious, precious boy. I cannot say that enough. He has shown me unconditional love. There are not enough words, or time to convey how true he and his siblings have demonstrated this to me. Luke is a fantastic soccer player. He plays on a competive team this year. And, trust me! He is great! He loves his friends. Through, the help of his fourth grade teacher, Ms. McClellan, he now loves to read. Just last week, his teacher, Mrs. Powers, called me at home. to tell us that Luke was the only student to score 100% on his math test.! How cool!
       Luke, Lexi and I were all baptized together, by Ted Kersh at South Tulsa Baptist Church, in February of 2009. It was awesome. Luke loves the Lord. He is involved in children's choir and RA's. He is a "fixture" in our church gym, as we are there a lot! He loves to have speaking parts in the church productions.  Solo's are not his thing. But, boy does he love music! He, too, loves worship . (They all do!) He sings, "How He Loves" all of the time! He is home sick today. About an hour ago, he came to ask for my "Passion" CD's!  I love that!
       Luke is a great combination of Mark and I. He has my temper. But, he also has my heart for apology. If he does wrong, he is very quick to admit it and ask for forgiveness. He still has the gift of silliness. His sense of humor is quirky. I love it...mine is too! Luke loves his siblings. His "love language" is touch.  He is kind and loving. A giver of joy. Please pray for him, just now. Send him a "shout out"!
       Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for, Luke.Thank you for his sweet heart.  Help him as he grows more in You. Bless him and protect him. Amen
"Follow", "Share", rejoice, love, forgive and sing!
Blessings to you all!
GISG!!
Kari

4 comments:

  1. Well it might appear that I am now stalking you cause I did run right home to get to my computer for this post. Luke is an amazing boy & my Drew just loves him. The two of them are hilarious together. During the World Cup Luke was with us & I just rolled at his quick wit!

    Loving you more & more as I see the "real" you in each post.

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  2. Very touching! I am loving reading about your precious kids!!

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  3. Your children are truly gifts from God. I am in loVe with Luke...and how precious his heart is...what a blessing. I find your posts bittersweet...but I look forward to them. Thanks for sharing my sweet friend.

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